Heavy Load, Empty Wagon

As I sit here this Sunday Morning, I mourn two people who have greatly impacted my life. This is a day they both loved.... Sunday. Each had their own pattern, ritual of preparing, but both loved to go to church. Both loved to just be in The Presence. How do you grief one without thinking of the other? That I don't know. It was my Mother who helped me when Poppie became ill and he who consoled me when she passed. This next year I expect to be an emotional test that I'm not sure how I will pass but know that I will. Next weekend is what would have been my Mother's 63rd birthday and she will not be here to celebrate it... and he will not be here to console me. Two weeks later will be what would have been his 72nd birthday and he will not be here to celebrate it ...nor she to console me. I'm sure that God has a reason for why my life is in this state but I just don't know why. I pray the outcome will be magnificent. On Friday, my Mother-in-law stopped breathing. My husband administered CPR. God must have known that burden who have been more than I could bare. Right now the wagon is empty...but the load is heavy. Two fewer passengers...by a very heavy heart.

Rhonda V.

His Change Has Come

Today is certainly one for the ages. My Father-in-Law, Rev. Dr. Samuel Varner, passed into the ancestral realm today. There are so many things about him that I will miss. This is the most pivotal year in my life. On July 20th, my Mother, Gloria B. Stanton, died quickly and unexpectedly after having signed my Father-in-Law's will and then visiting on the very day of her death. He took the long hard road and suffered for 2 years. These 2 Superheros, have so much in common and leave a void that only God knows how we will fill. See both of them were born to poor families and had to be adults way too fast. Both knew at early ages that they had to get out of the towns they were born in to flourish. Both believed deeply in God. Both would give you the shirts off their backs, take you in and encourage you no matter who you were. My Mother was a Mother to the World and Sam Varner was a Father to the World. We have been left without our 2 pillars of strength. The Grand Matriarch and the Grand Patriarch, who were indeed friends, are no longer with us. We thank God for them and all that they gave. We ask God to give us the strength to walk taller because of them. I cannot explain the depth of my anguish and I know that my husband cannot explain the depth of his... but I do know that we will go on in a spirit of Love, Hope and at some juncture, Joy. I pray Peace for my Mother-in-Law. Sam Varner....Rest in Heavenly Peace
--- Yetu

Single Parent Now

1:51 AM 09/22/2009. I was notified that my mother became a single parent after over 40 years. 1:52 AM, I'm running down the street in my neighborhood crying trying to escape the pain. 2:03 AM, I realize I need to be there for my mother. I need to be there for my mother. I need to be near my mother.
Seko-Benjamin

Back to Cool Libations

Today the ninos' returned to their government school (Shouts to Neal Bortz). While it's joyous, its also a day of loss for me. I started this blog to allow my ninos' to share parts of their lives in a manner that their grandmothers could easily access and proudly share with others. On (Roman calendar) June 20th, 2009 one of their grandmothers, Gloria Stanton, became a beloved ancestor. As some of my more Churchy folks might say, I won't be able to share these moments with her in the 'natural'. As I exited the house today to check the weather I noted the ever-so-slight drizzle and connected that light rain with the pouring of libation....... In worship of the Almighty, in worship of our Savior, in remembrance of my Mother-In-Law...... As the kiddies left the bus-stop eagerly dancing in their seats with jubilance towards a new school year the rain slowly intensified. "Fresh water keeps me well, fresh water opens the way, fresh water is my sustainer, fresh water comes from above. Thank you Almighty for fresh water in the form of Gloria." As I walked into the house fighting the mosquitoes I became uplifted as I thought to myself how 'Cool' it was for my kids to have so much joy in anticipation of school. Gloria would have laughed and smiled (in the natural) at the coolness of her grandchildren. I'm sure she's laughing, smiling, and worshiping in the 'spiritual'. Gloria, enjoy those heavenly cooling waters from the Living well. You are well kept and well missed.

Seko VArner